I should not have gone out in public today.
I mean, I haven’t been out in days because I’ve had strep and Em has it now, so we haven’t been many places other than the couch, her bedroom and the kitchen.
But, since I had showered yesterday and actually washed my hair, I thought, “Heck, I’ll get dressed two days in a row. It’s not a crime!” Plus, a friend was coming over for a visit, so I thought she deserved more than just me brushing my teeth.
So, I put on my one pair of shorts that I own. They are my favorite. Obviously, because they are literally my only pair of shorts.
I put on my daily wife beater tank top, today’s hue: gray.
And then, since my favorite only shorts are plaid Roxy shorts with navy, I decided, “What the heck?! Why not throw on my favorite navy cardigan since it’s cold in the mornings?”
And so I did.
Did I mention I haven’t sanded my feet or changed my toe polish in a month-ish? But I did shave yesterday, so that’s somethin‘. That is, I shaved my pasty white legs that no longer have the lingering effects of my days on the beach in Mexico way back in February. That is, I shaved my white legs that now unabashedly boast bulging blue veins thanks to 3 full-term pregnancies. Love you kids!
So, as I was saying, I went out in public today.
I had to run to the post office as soon as Jason came in the door from work. I didn’t look in the mirror or even glance down at myself. I just grabbed my package and hopped in the car.
And as I left the P.O. I saw my toes…but before my eyes found my toes, they found my left boob…I had a small, 9 month old sized paw print made from prunes on it.
Of course it did. My boobs are often covered in fruits and veggies. Aren’t yours?
And, since I carry my purse on my right shoulder, not even it was working with me to camouflage the prunes.
The problem was, with nasty old red toenails, white scaly, pasty, veiny legs, my uber preppy, Jackie-O JCrew sweater and surf shorts, I still had to run two more errands while I was kid loose and fancy free. Dang it! At least I could switch my purse to my left shoulder…
2nd errand: Vitamin Cottage. Ran into the ladies I see there on a regular basis. They didn’t notice the prunes I had tried to lick off in the car on the way there from the P.O. They are sweet. Maybe they just didn’t let on?
3rd errand: Wal-Mart. And guess what? I fit right in. Don’t be shocked if you see a picture of me on “What not to wear at Wal-Mart” or whatever that website is 🙂
I got my errands done. Now to grab Jason’s power sander and soften up my feet for summer!
I know you usually have it altogether, but in case you aren’t perfect, have any “out in publics” to share?