Well, I’m sucking it up and FINALLY going back to the doctor (naturopath) today to see how the homeopathic remedy worked, if it’s active, if it’s weakened or worsened. Yeah, I did the treatment in October, and A LOT of people in my shoes probably would have run right away upon completion of treatment to learn results…I’m not them, and that’s okay. Not obsessing about it for the last several months but being able to just enjoy one day at a time has been good for my heart and mind. I feel good, but for the most part, save a few flare ups that resembled long-lasting flu or mono type symptoms, or sporadic strep infections, I’ve felt ‘good’ all along. That is what is so interesting to me. The guy on the subway in NYC who asked me, “Is it possible that Noah was simply born with the antigen (for borrelia Burgdorferi, aka Lyme’s Disease)?”, his question is so intriguing to me. Maybe today when I go to see Doc Julie I’ll learn that the Bb is still present in my body. Maybe it will be gone. Maybe I was born with it? Who knows? (Theory* Maybe being born with it is something quite common but the introduction of other bacterial infections and viruses trigger it’s activity and depending on the fortitude of the host, determines the extent of its damage.)

What I do know is that regardless of how that antigen worked in my son’s body, it didn’t define him and it doesn’t define me. We all struggle with different things in life, different struggles, fears, diseases, ailments, battles, physical and spiritual, but the truth is, those things, all of them, no matter their outcome, they help mold us and shape us but they don’t ‘define’ us. I may be the mom of a little guy who died of an unknown disease, and yes, I talk about it and continue to do research to help others, but when it comes down to it, it’s Who I met face to face, intimately, passionately, in the midst of that journey that allows me to see my worth in Him and point me on the path He has drawn out for me. What we do with the life we’ve been given is IMPORTANT. But, it is Christ in us, the hope of glory, that gives that life eternal value.
(Random thoughts…as usual…)



2 Responses

  1. You have no idea who I am, and it doesn’t even matter. I read your story, watched the video of Noah…and my heart aches….oh does my heart ever ache.
    I have so many questions, yet it’s unfair and impolite.
    I have 3 boys…I have been totally blessed, and while I enjoy every single minute with them, I am petrified of losing one.
    My son’s are my everything, they are why I breathe, and I would absolutely die if I lost one.
    I read, and cry, and want to jump through the monitor and hug you so tightly.

    Your son is absolutely beautiful. I will keep him forever in my prayers.
    I am sorry, beyond words, for your loss.

    Love & Light,


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