*Note: The asterisk was used to break up the spelling of the body parts not because they are dirty but because when people do word searches for p*orn on the Internet, Noah’s site doesn’t come up…since it’s not p*orn and all…

Monday I thought we were done with the conversation for a while…like a long while. But, notsomuch. Tuesday Em was curious about adoption. She wanted to know the reasons why some people adopted children and from whom and where those children came. The setting was the car and I wasn’t cracking up to the point of tears this time. I actually had a lot of peace to proceed with some of the logistics, if you will.

Me: Em, sex is a gift from God designed for marriage that a husband and wife share. It is when a man and woman fit together in a very special way, and that is when sperm from the male goes up into the uterus of the female and fertilizes the egg, by God’s design. He told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and to multiply, which meant He wanted them to enjoy each other and to make babies. He said it was good but designed it for marriage because outside of marriage it gets really complicated…

Em: How can someone have a baby outside of marriage? Do they just tell their body to have a baby?

Me: No, but it does happen outside marriage sometimes. Since God made sex to be a good thing that feels nice, some people think they can have it whenever they want and with people that aren’t their husband or wife and they don’t think about the consequences of their choices or who it could hurt. A baby isn’t a ‘consequence’, a baby is a gift, but if someone is a mommy or daddy outside marriage, even though they love that baby, sometimes they make a choice to give the baby to another mommy and daddy that want a baby to adopt because they can’t have babies…sometimes the mommy keeps the baby because they are grown up enough to care for and love that baby on their own.

Me: Sometimes our bodies don’t always work like we want them to, you know, like Noah’s didn’t send all the right messages, so sometimes people can have babies and sometimes they can’t, but those aren’t the only reasons people adopt children.

Em: Yeah because Mr. and Mrs. G can have babies but they adopted David.

Me (thinking, you really get this, don’t you, kid?!): You are right. They wanted to adopt a baby because they knew they could love that baby and care for him better than an orphanage could.

Me: Yeah, so sometimes people adopt children because they cannot have babies on their own, physically, and other times people adopt children just because they want those children to have a happy home to live in with a mommy and daddy. We know a lot of people who have adopted children from all over the world…Russia, China, Africa, Asia, Central and South America and North America. It’s pretty special!

Em, very concerned: How come some mommies and daddies don’t want their babies?

Me: Oh sweetie, it’s not that they don’t want them deep down inside. Sometimes in Africa for instance, the parents are too sick to care for their kids, or they die from some pretty bad diseases when their children are young and so the children are put in orphanages. Sometimes the mommy is too young to be a responsible mommy, BUT, she is responsible enough to choose to let the baby live, but just live with another loving family. That is a wonderful gift for a family that wants children. She’ll always think about that baby, but know that God designed for some other people to care for and love that kid…

(There are so many other horrible and beautiful scenarios in the world but I won’t tell you, sweet girl, not now, because now is not the time…you’ve learned a lot in a few days…)

Me: Em, all we’ve talked about today is pretty important stuff. If you have any questions about any of this, remember you can always ask mommy and daddy about it. This isn’t something that to bring up with friends or other family members, just mom and dad. Did you know that we are experts on the topic? We know everything about it. (Great! Did I just say that?! I’m no expert, I just practice…NOW don’t start emailing me your questions…her name is Dr. Ruth…)

Em: You do?! Wow! How do you know so much?

Me (now, cracking up on the inside, outside smirk beginning to emerge, shocked at myself for saying the above line out loud…): God’s word tells us a lot about it…and we’ve been married for a long, long time.


12 Responses

  1. Thank you for sharing this. This is a topic I have been avoiding but reading what you tell your dd is helping me be at ease about it. Wow thanks so much. God has sent this to me because he knows how much I have been struggling with this topic.

  2. Well done, Adrienne. Especially the admonition “this isn’t something to bring up with your friends or other family members.”

    That’s where I went wrong …

    Your kid is scary bright. Stay on your toes!

  3. Great job, Mama!

    I know you know this (and we all keep reminding you), but Em is so bright and perceptive. She reminds me of my firstborn. My Anna is 11yr old, and she’s still very mature and the sweetest thing.

  4. I’m thinking that people who search for p*orn SHOULD find a link to this blog…it might change their lives, Adrienne! =)
    As for your talks, I’m glad that Em is open with you and thinks you’re a know-it-all. She’s a very blessed little girl.
    Thank goodness we don’t have to have all the answers and yet our kiddos still love us and look up to us.
    Have a great weekend!

  5. How do you know that it doesn’t come up..the only way you’d be 100 % sure is if you searched it out yourself. And honestly, as somebody who used to seek that stuff out, if they are looking for it, and saw a link saying Noah Steven, Crowned in Peace…they more than likely wouldn’t click on it. Unless God is working in their heart in some big way.

  6. I love your conversations with Emily… she is such an amazing child, I loved the moment I got to meet her face to face…. I also, love GOD’s perfect timing… I haven’t read your blog in so long, but in my procrastination from homework I got caught up today….a much needed break from my stress and a good warm feeling inside.

  7. Great conversation! I am not sure I’ll have the words when it’s my turn to have this conversation (not for a LONG time yet) but it’s great to be able to read this and think about it! Well done!!

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