I was getting things in order, fluffing my nest, trying to bond with Emily and Jason as much as possible prior to our lives changing with the addition of another child. I could not wait to meet my son!

On Wednesday three years will come and go from the beautiful day Noah was born. We’ll take Em out of school for the day and head off by ourselves somewhere for a little quiet. We’ll probably take a hike through God’s glorious creation, maybe pack a picnic, but mostly stop time, at least in our little world, and reflect on how life isn’t perfect, how our hearts miss our guy, and how, through all of it, our hope and trust in God has not waned. We’ll probably wonder what he’s doing, and dream heavenly dreams for a bit…and for us, the respite will be welcomed in the midst of our busy lives.

If you or someone you know has lost a loved one, or two, or three, or more…please, allow yourself or the person you know time, allow for space and solitude, allow tears and allow laughter. Don’t ever expect yourself or the griever to ‘get over it’ or ‘just move on’. Don’t ever put a time frame on their grief journey, or your own. For those who do not understand, don’t expect them to…they don’t and won’t. We, the bereaved, do ‘move on’ but as we do, we always take some of that person with us. Don’t be afraid to do the same. There is no ‘right way’ to grieve nor is there only one way. But don’t forget to grieve because in grief, you look close enough, there is beauty, such great beauty!

And, if your heart is stuck on the “Why?”, “Why me?”, “Why them?”, “Why now?” questions, I assure you, even if you knew the why, it wouldn’t make you miss them any less…



11 Responses

  1. I came to your blog through MckMama’s sister’s blog. I’ve followed your blog for a while now through hers (weird I know) and I don’t ever comment, but felt I needed to on this one. First, I am soooo sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the heartache from losing your child. But what really led me to comment was your last paragraph on grieving. Thank you so much for that. My father and my mother-in-law both died about 14 months ago and you expressed grieving so perfectly. I only wish I had those words a year ago, but it is still good to have them now. I pray for comfort and peace beyond understanding for you and your family during this anniversary.

  2. Adrienne-You are a beautiful person.I read your blog and know how close to Jesus you are.You have went thru a valley,climb the mountain and are on top to shout about God’s love,his goodness and how faithful he is to you and us…Thank you for your courage in your blogging to tell us the things God lays on your heart.You are an inspiration to me..
    Your Friend,Monica

  3. dearest adrienne…
    my heart and thoughts are with you. i am so thankful that noah came into your life…so thankful that we all have been blessed just by knowing him or of him. i knew of him after his life on earth was done…but i am so blessed for being part of it now. thank you. thank you for sharing your heart, for sharing him. God knew what He what He was doing when He put the breath of life into your son. by making you his mother. and by taking Him Home to be with Him. He knew. and none of it to be in vain. thanks be to God, for the life of noah. for how He continues to use his life to bless others…to bring a better understanding of Who He Is!
    i am so inspired and encouraged by your journey, by what you have learned and continue to learn and what you share. i think you have such a beautiful heart…and i am sure that you had much of that already, but i am sure that the Lord shaped it more into what He desired it to be … through your journey.
    thank you for being you…for being real…and always sharing what the Lord puts on you to share! i will be thinking of you as your journey this week….noah’s 3rd birthday. he dances with the His Creator…what beauty!
    praying for you….
    shannon stinson

  4. You are awesome, a tender warrior. Thank you so much for sharing your heart. I have been dealing with alot these past 5 months and just wanted you to know how thankful I am to our God for creating such a wonderful one as you. You always encourage me, more than you know.

    Praying for you today. I know your arms ache.

  5. What a wonderful, well-put reminder…thank you.

    As you probably saw in the email I sent, the loss of our dear friend’s 21 month old little boy has been exceedingly trying on everyone, but I just praise God this family knows the Lord. I can’t imagine not having any hope through this type of a situation. Nevertheless, it is very real and the wounds scar deep. I cannot even imagine.

    Thank you for your transparency, once again. I am so blessed to know you and your story, testimony, and love for your family! 🙂

  6. I hadn’t remembered when Noah’s birthday was! (I don’t know if you remember me or not, we’ve emailed briefly.) I was due yesterday with our 2nd child (a little girl) and I’m still waiting. I thought she might come last night or today after how I’ve been feeling the last 2 days, but now all the contractions and such have stopped and I was SO disappointed. I have been blessed by your blog and now I’d be touched if she came tomorrow on Noah’s birthday!

    I hope you enjoy your much-needed time away with your family. I’ll be thinking about you all, and hopefully praising God for a healthy baby girl.

  7. Happy Birthday sweet Noah. You touched so many lives here on earth. I hope you are eating lots of cupcakes today.

    Lifting your family up in prayer.

  8. Dear Adrienne,

    I have had you on my heart so much in the last few days and haven’t had a chance to check your blog…but now I know why you’ve been in my thoughts. I think of your sweet Noah often, especially since he and my girl were only a few weeks apart. May God’s presence be so real for you, Jason & Emily and may He continue to comfort you as you continue to grieve the loss of your precious little love. Even though I never met Noah, I feel like I knew him. I can’t wait to meet him in Heaven one day.

    Much love and many prayers for you,

    P.S. The cupcakes are very cool. Where on earth did you find those? Or did you make them?

  9. Adrienne, this post was so lovely.
    “…don’t forget to grieve because in grief, you look close enough, there is beauty, such great beauty!”

    This is my heart. Thank you so much.

    I’m here to let you know that one of our readers sent us to you – you were part of a group of writers nominated for a Glow in the Woods award for this spring.


    Thank you so much for sharing as you do. You’re so lovely and I’m honoured that our community can read you now, too.

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