So, today Em’s Nana and I took her to the Bodies Human exhibit in their town. The majority of the cadavers were males but there were a couple token females in the group, along with a room with fetus’. Em found it all very interesting and gave the overall experience a thumbs up. After seeing a few displays, Emily wanted to sit and write down some of the things she had seen…
Em: How do you spell ‘spine’?
Me: S P I N E
Em: Let’s see, I saw muscles…how do you spell that?
Me: M U S C L E S
Em: I saw bones. How do you spell ‘bones’?
Nana: B O N E S
Em: How do you spell ‘bottom’?
Me: B O T T O M
Em: I didn’t see a v*agina…
Me: Sure you did, on that cadaver over there in the corner…that one is a female.
Em proceeds to return to the display, bends down to look at the parts, and then asks, “How do you spell ‘v*agina?”
Me (well, I proceed to lose it in a MAJOR junior high moment, I can’t look down at my kid because I am totally cracking up, shedding tears, with a temporary senior moment of forgetfulness, not remembering the letters to the specific body part!): V…
Nana, in adult, matter of fact fashion rattles off the letters and saves my hide: V * A G I N A

Fast forward to the coffee shop after our trip through the exhibit…
Em: But how does the baby get inside the mommy’s tummy?
Me: Uterus.
Me, stalling…stalling a little more: You remember. We talked about it before at home. The sperm from the the male fertilizes the egg in the female.
Em: Right. But how does the baby get up inside the mommy? Does the sprem wiggle?
Me: Kind of…
Em: Does it hop?
Me (Lord, how come Jason’s always conveniently not around during these conversations…huh, huh, huh?!): It’s not a frog, so it doesn’t hop
Me (Lord, I don’t really feel like ‘splainin’ this right now…): Em, have you ever heard the word ‘s*ex’ or ‘interc*ourse’ at school, in a movie or on TV?
Em: No.
Me: Good.
Me: Well, God made mommies and daddies in very special ways to fit together…
Em, now totally digging in her backpack, looking for sunflower seeds, not really paying attention any more, pretty much over the conversation: Can we go now?
Me: Sure. No problem. Let’s get out of here…

I have to say, the juices just weren’t flowing for the timing here…perhaps it was the fact that I was sitting across the table from my mother in law (whom I love), but seriously, seriously?! Give the talk to my kiddo across the table from my kid’s dad’s mom?! Notsomuch…



16 Responses

  1. cute story, but here’s the buzz kill:

    do you know that the majority of the bodies in this exhibition are that of chinese prisoners, some of whom were most like christian martyrs who were executed? neither they nor their families gave consent to have their cadavers (or their unborn babies bodies for that matter) put on display like this.

    how to reconcile this as believers in Jesus, given our call to claim the sanctity of ALL life?

  2. Hahahahah I can’t stop laughing at Karenkool’s snort! Oh that was great.

    I could sense an awkwardness! I would have died if Scarlett had of asked me that in front of my Mother in law.

    You did well Ade!

  3. I would have died right there. Turned fifty shades of red first and then died.

    You are one smart woman. Wanna come ‘splain things to my 6-year-old son? I didn’t do so hot with my older ones…although the Lord is merciful and they turned out OK.

  4. okay- HIIIIlarious! woulda loved to have been there with you in the junior high giggling losin it moment. i love those with you!

  5. Oh my Adrienne. That’s the part of “the talk” that freaked me out the most! I remember stuttering to the school nurse (when it should have been my mom explaining!) and being aghast that it happened “like dogs!”
    You always could have used the explanation I got from the genius boy in 4th grade!
    I think you handled it just fine.

  6. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…….that is too funny! I can just picture Kaija sitting there trying not to bust a gut at this conversation. I have not been to the Bodies Human exhibit but might work up the courage to go. So are we going to do Guad’s while you are here? I understand if there is no time but I sure hope there is!!!!

  7. Am I missing something, or is there a reason for the asterisks in the words vagina, sex, and intercourse? I hope they’re not considered “dirty words” now.

  8. can i just use your explanations to explain it to my kids? mine haven’t asked this, really, yet. and imagine they’ve had three other siblings to wonder about it with!

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