The main reason this blog was started was to update family and friends while we were at Children’s in Denver of Noah’s critical care. We were on the phone too much and wanted to spend our time cuddling Noah, encouraging Em and researching the endless world of medicine instead of sitting idly by assuming everyone else knew what they were doing…
The blog proved to be a great resource for people to check in and get updates and learn how to specifically pray for Noah’s and our needs. Jason and I are both open people (though we do cherish privacy, as well) so sharing these things in such a venue was not difficult for us. Up until January 12th, the blog’s main purpose remained as a bulletin board, if you will, for whoever by that time was checking in and praying for Noah, but it had also become my outlet. I had forgotten how much I loved writing and the blog was my pseudo journal of conversations in my head, heart and between me and God.
Some might ask why I would put such private moments out for anyone to see. I have no intentions of keeping this blog for attention’s sake. I write my thoughts and ideas because in the course of Noah’s short life, people who were asked to pray asked others to pray and told others about Noah. As a result, some of you have fallen in love with the little man who taught me about deeper love. Therefore, I write not only for myself, but to encourage whoever needs it that day. I know that we are not the only parents to experience such joy and heartache and I also know that many aren’t ready to write or share those feelings. I am. I want those people who have faced what looked like the most devastating circumstances to know that they aren’t alone and that there is hope and healing.
I write when I feel like writing. I write what I feel strongly led to write and when I don’t write, it is my time for privacy. It’s my day off. But I will continue to share, not only my processing, but stories and pictures of Noah, too. And in all of this, my hope is that honor will be brought to God and that healing will begin to take place in other peoples’ lives where brokenness has set up residency in the place of hope and joy.
I will continue to be real as there are a lot of Christians who think that if you don’t speak positive faith statements at all times then those bad things will happen in your life. I think that’s a load of crap (that’s a whole other blog entry…). If that’s the case then mind over matter should rule the world and the war would have ended before it began and there would be no murder or cancer or car accidents. My point is, in being real, I am only trying to convey to you that walking with God in your life on earth will be hard at times. He can handle your true feelings since He knows them anyway. Just don’t stay mad at Him since He’s good, He’s lovely, He loves you more than all creation, and He can’t wait to be physically reunited with you in eternity. And, whether it’s you walking through a hard time or someone you know, or have only recently met, I hope this blog helps you graciously endure through the thick of it.
I love your openess. It has helped and inspired me, and I am sure hundreds, maybe thousands of others. I love your faith. Your blogs do help me on a daily basis…and I am always reminded that I have great things in my life…things I usually take for granted. I thank you for that!!!
I am so glad you have this blog…Even though we are Christians and have this eternal outlook on life, it still sucks sometimes! Thank you for keeping it real! I appreciate your openness and hope you will continue…God bless you and yours!
so glad to be able to check in on you, read your thoughts and process your ponderings. you are appreciated. Hope to see you soon.
I will agree with you! This has got to be such a ministry to many families who are going through what you have gone through.
I know it’s been such a blessing to me, just in my daily walk.
Please help me pray for a little guy in my elementary-aged kids group (KidsPoint), at church. His name is Zach (http://www.caringbridge.org/mo/zachman98/index.htm) & he was diagnosed last week with cancer (2nd time in 4 years).
We love your thoughts, your insights, & of course, all those great photos!
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You’re very right – I love Noah like he’s a friend of ours. Thank you for being so open with your story and pictures.
I, too, sometimes don’t know just what to write because you are a marvelous writer and compose perfectly communicated groups of thoughts on whatever is was you and God were going through at that moment. I often just read and nod. Reading and nodding tonight, Adrienne!
Thanks again Adrienne for sharing so much of your families lives with us. We have walked so many footsteps with you and I am thankful to God for knowing you.
I too sometimes don’t always know what to say but I read faithfully every single day. Although I have never met you, I have fallen in love with your baby boy Noah and your family. I admire you for how your share your life so openly and honestly. I often check several times during the day in hopes of a new entry and new pictures. You have a way with words and have changed who I am for the better, thank you for that. You and your family are in my thoughts daily. I am waiting anxiously for your book someday!
Please write about the “positive faith” statements soon. I am going through some scary health issues myself and sometimes it feels so lonely because you’re not ever allowed to talk about what scares you half to death. I guess God does know our every thought and is bigger then our fears and “what ifs?”.
I am one of those who has fallen in love with your little man, as well as the rest of your beautiful family. Thank you for writing! I love to log on each day and read your thoughts.
God Bless You and Your Family, today and always!
I love your honesty and feel you are doing a great thing by sharing your heart. You do a wonderful job of conveying your struggles and joys. I, for one, am so thankful for the life lessons I have learned through reading your words. You are a blessing. God is using you.
You definitely have a gift for writing and I always enjoy reading here.
Thank you for writing and sharing. God has and will continue to use the truths you share to bless, challenge and encourage others.
Thanks for continuing to write! It means a lot to me, and I’m sure to a lot of other people also. Even though I don’t know you and your family except through this blog, I feel as though we are old, old friends. Weird, huh? Anyway, I am very often encouraged by your writing, other days I am amazed at your vulnerablity and openness.
We are not meant to go through life alone. God made us to enjoy, and even need, fellowship. He also told us to pray for each other, lift each other up, and confront each other. Your blog does all of that. And more importantly, I understand from mutual friends that your LIFE does that. Adrienne, God is using you to bring hope to others (myself included) and to inspire others to “be real” as well. I started blogging for the same reasons as you mention, and I can only pray that others find solace that we are not going through the journey alone…hardships and all.
Your family remains in my prayers, and little Noah remains in my heart.
Your blog is a blessing to so many out there. Thank you for sharing your innermost thoughts and fears.
I think you have no idea how much you and Noah have changed so many people’s lives. You have completely changed how I view death and you have inspired me to learn more about God and the kind of life he wants me to live. A life that is temporary, but will lead to a much better “life” in Heaven. Thank you so much. Noah did a lot in his short amount of time here.
You don’t know how much this blog has helped me get through the harder days recently. Thank you for being open. I don’t think Noah and God want it any other way.
I love to come here everyday to read this blog because its just poetry(if u get what i mean).Even if you havent posted a blog i just read again, because its like a book and i can pick new things up everytime i go over.I found this blog a week after you buried noah,yet he touches my heart every single day,as do you, em and your husband,god bless you all x x
I’m right there with you, my friend. Keeping it real, even when others won’t. Thanks for being you! Your words are filled with treasure and your heart contains much more. Noah’s life has impacted me greatly.
Love to you and the fam.
I love your blog. I’ve been reading it since the beginning (but, have never commented before). You ARE real and I love that! I’ve cried with you and I’ve rejoiced with you. Thank you for sharing…I hope you never stop.
I am so glad that you write. I haven’t sufferred a personal tragedy but your writing opened my eyes to see that I need to be reading and praying and sharing my life with others so that I will be ready for whatever may come my way. You inspired me to get back in the Word because you had been through something that I couldn’t imagine and still praise the name of Jesus. I want that kind of faith and I know that it isn’t an overnight process but a lifetime of reading and drawing close and disciplining myself so when I do hit a hard time, I will be ready. What I am trying to say is thank you. I love reading your heart and you are a source of encouragement and I will read whenever you write.
As I read through the beginning of this entry I started to fear that you were going to tell us that the time has come for you to STOP writing and I just didn’t want that to be the case.
BUT, I’m glad that the “end of the story” is that this is blessing you to a similar degree that it has become a blessing to so many, although I personally think those of us who read it are tremendously blessed!!
So, once again, please accept my gratitude for allowing us to process this with you. Your desire for this to be a place of encouragement, honesty and blatant conversation with God is fulfilled and I look forward to see how it continues to evolve.
Oh, yes, and loved the “new” picture of Jason, Em and Noah. At least, I think it was “new” to us, your blog readers? Either way, love it!
You are an encouragement to me as well. The fact that you are “REAL” and may not always have “positive faith statements” (I’m not sure I fully understand the meaning of the phrase) speaks so loud to me because even in the valley you can praise the Lord, for you know that He is good, no matter what. Yeah your feelings are raw but what a testimony, we have too many women that appear that they have it all together and we aspire to be like them losing our true self but you Adrienne have what it takes to encourage others in their valleys.
Bless you for your candor.
Adrienne, thank you for your blog! I am not very good with words, and so many times your blogs have put some of my thoughts into words! Thank you for sharing your heart with us (your readers). I so enjoy the realness I find on your blog. It truly makes me feel as though we’re old friends. So thanks.
Writing is always cathartic for me as well, but I must say you do a much better job of articulating even MY thoughts than I do!
I have to tell you that I have also fallen in love with your precious, precious son. He is absolutely beautiful.
During the past couple of months I have had a crisis of faith. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God directed me to this blog- to see and learn about his grace and peace in a very tangible way.
As a mother, my heart is absolutely broken for you. More than once today, I have shed tears for you and your family. But I have also been awed by God’s grace and his love that you radiate.
Bless you, your husband, your daughter and your extended family.
I look forward to meeting both you and Noah someday in Heaven!
You an d your family are such a huge blessing to my life & my heart.
You always point up to Jesus in all you speak here.
Thank you Adrienne for sharing your journey with us….because it inspires us to be real with ours.
love & blessings~
You have a tremendous ministry ability, and you’ve touched so many. I found your blog in early January, and read and cried until I was caught up. Noah and your family were in my prayers, and continue to be. You are strengthened by your love for Christ, and by reading your trials and adorations, WE are all strengthened too. I feel like close friends with you, and pray a little more on the days you don’t post. You are a blessing to me! Please continue to share.
Walking the Cross,
Thank you so much for your honesty and all you continue to share and teach.
I can’t even remember how I found your site, but I love reading your thoughts and sharing your journey. You so eloquently put into words many of the core beliefs I hold. I hope one day you’ll feel led to write an entry on speaking “faith statements.” My MIL believes in only speaking positive things or the negative will come true. She uses verses on the tongue (the power of life and death is found in the tongue) to support her belief. I disagree, but can’t seem to put it into words to express it. Whether I ever tell her my feelings on the subject or not, I’d love to be able to clarify for myself why I disagree with her. I think reading your thoughts on the issue might help. May you continue to share your journey. God is using you.