June 2006
Today Em wanted me to unpack a few boxes in the basement so I could find her Lincoln Logs and my vintage Fisher Price toys. Jason pulled the boxes down and they revealed a box that said “Duck Prints/Bulletin Board/Rug”. I had been looking for my bulletin board so opened the box. Randomly inside the box, I guess to fill empty space, was my favorite foam pillow I used to sleep with. You know the kind…it has a U-shaped dip for your head and the top parts of the U support your neck. I used to sleep with that pillow while Noah was still at home. Then with hospital life and packing up our house for resale, I guess put it away for staging purposes. Well, I pulled it out of the box and smelled it. It smelled like Noah…

I bawled. I could not believe it smelled like Noah! I had tried to find his smell in his room while packing it up but could not. I smelled all of his clothes, his blankets, EVERYTHING, but his smell was lost. Well, two weeks after Noah was born Jason had business out of town. I would bundle Noah in his blankies and put him in the dip of the pillow and lay him next to me in bed at night.

When I tried to smell it again, my sinuses were too full of teary snot to detect it, but I am so grateful that almost two years after Noah was born, I was given a beautiful gift…like an early birthday present, but for me…



20 Responses

  1. That is so awesome! What a special blessing. I remember a blog entry from almost a year ago talking about Noah’s scent and how you missed it. I rejoice with you on this special discovery. And thank you for teaching us to stop and “smell” them a little longer. I don’t take it for granted. And before I put my boy to sleep I tuck my nose into his neck and just breath him in. Do you think this will annoy him when he goes to kindergarten or high school graduation! ha ha ha! But seriously, thank you for your transparancy and openess. You’ve taught me so much through your journey. Sniff away! 🙂

  2. This touched me so deeply. Scents can certainly trigger memories so quickly and take us back to a precise time in our lives. Last year, my husband opened up a bag of old bay chips in the kitchen that he had never bought before while I was in the living room, and when the smell drifted towards me, I started to cry immediately. Those were my brother’s favorite chips; he died when I was a teenager. I hadn’t smelled those chips since, and it was jarring for me. But to find a person’s own scent — especially a baby’s — has to be so sentimental and special. What a sweet post to share.

  3. I am so glad that you were able to have a “piece” of Noah with you again! I’ve been following your blog for almost two years and it doesn’t seem that long ago to me that I was fwded your story so I can’t imagine how you must feel, having gone thus far without your beautiful Noah. THanks for sharing…

    In God’s Grace-
    Jill in MN

  4. How wonderful for you – I’m sure that was just the sweetest smell possible! Even though she was only here 2 days, we have a teddy bear whose scent still reminds me of our daughter. I know it’s probably just some weird funky smell it picked up from the hospital, but it’s all we’ve got so I’ll take it! 😉

    Not to change the subject to more unpleasant things, but it is amazing how a smell can trigger memories (good and bad). I’m sure with all you went through, there are many not so pleasant smells that serve as reminders as well. I know that there was a certain air freshener that the funeral home used that just made me sick and sometimes I’ll be somewhere and smell it again and it instantly takes me back – yuck!

    Anyway, hopefully you can find a way to preserve that precious scent forever! Thanks for sharing.

  5. What a great gift… and I bet you will be given others like this as the years progress. It has been 28years since my little Joe died and every now and then… God sends me some pleasant gentle reminders which I consider a blessing indeed! I still have his blanket… the smell is gone but now the precious memories. God is great- God is good!

  6. Noah’s pix … look at those eyes! There is a very wise soul in there. That’s not the blank look of a newborn baby trying to take everything in and figure things out. He has been here before … he already knew things most of us only dream about.
    That sweet soul has made his mark on the world in more ways than one. How many of us can say that?
    Adrienne, you are truly blessed to be his mom. And we are blessed that you share him with us, too!

  7. Dear Adrienne,
    I want you to know I’ll be praying for peace and joy and God’s care over you and Jason and Em tonight and tomorrow. You are all very loved.
    Crystal Michelson

  8. I’ll be praying for you tomorrow, too!

    Tell me that pillow is in a zip-loc bag!!!

  9. How incredible that God allowed you to smell your boy again…amazing. I wish you could bottle up that scent and keep it forever. Thanks for sharing this with us.

    I’m praying for you, dear Adrienne.

    Lots of love from MN,

  10. God is so good! All good and perfect things come from Him, like the smell of your precious boy.
    May there be many more happy surprises in store for you.

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