I miss this kid

One year ago was my official faith crisis. The docs came in to say they didn’t know why Noah’s health was declining, that it was our choice whether to intervene, and they were done looking for answers. (Really? So that means we spent the next 3 and a half months searching for answers ON OUR OWN ACCORD) (Yes, I get crusty about this! Yes, I need to go to counseling, but it’s not a convenient time, so I guess I have to pray about that…). One year later, I am no longer in a faith crisis, but nobody still knows jack squat. Nobody is looking for the reason Noah died, obviously. But the one thing that I will continue to search for is the reason that MANY, MANY mice died at the CDC when injected with Noah’s stool. The CDC knows, in my opinion, because if they don’t, folks, we should all be REALLY concerned…anyway, this will all be the subject of one of the chapters in Noah’s book…

So, speaking of Noah’s book and the title of this post asking for your prayers…a lot of things are going on this weekend and next week and weekend for which I covet your prayers. This Saturday I will be sharing with some women from our church at our first women’s brunch. Please pray that the Holy Spirit leads me and is the only One speaking. Then, on Saturday night we have been invited to attend the Children’s Hospital Gala which is the big fundraiser for the hospital. We know God wants us there for some reason, but the irony of being in that setting one year later is grand…Then, on Sunday after church, we are headed up to the mountains with some friends to see the fall colors for a couple of days. After that, Jason and Em will head back down to Denver and I have been blessed with the opportunity to go on a solo retreat at a private little fishing cabin for the rest of the week. I’ll have water and electricity, but no Internet. There is Internet at the main lodge, so I’ll check in if possible, but my main purpose in going is to pray, seek God’s face, and write Noah’s book. I know I only have a few days and the last thing I need is writer’s block, so please pray for God’s clarity and the words to flow. I’ll likely come back to Denver on the following Friday and head to the Beth Moore pre-conference meeting for Women of Faith. A lot to pack into a week, but I am up for it.

Oh yeah, I still don’t know what I am wearing to this black tie event. I tried on my senior high prom dress, you know the number…gold sequins with gold lam me puffy layers on the skirt. A big bow on the buns. You know you want one! AND NO, I AM NOT POSTING A PICTURE OF IT! Only old high school friends had documentation of that and none of them from that school remember me anyway! (What’s that? You want to know why on earth I still have it? It was SO obnoxious that I had to save it for if I ever had a daughter so she could play dress up.)



22 Responses

  1. Oh Sweetie, I am praying for you! I am a stranger, yet so confident that God’s love and light will shine through you in your speaking engagement and He will bless you with the words to write Noah’s story.
    I pray that you obtain the answers, the strength, the peace and comfort to continue to share Noah’s very important story!

  2. I want you to know that God led me to your blog about a month ago. I had already sorta started my son’s blog (lovejoelr.blogspot.com) and reading Noah’s blog encouraged me to get serious. My heart goes out to you for losing Noah. Noah’s blog helped me mourn for my baby Joel (Joel was diagnosed at 9 weeks old in Nov. ’05 with a serious epileptic disorder and in Dec. ’06 had about a quarter of his brain removed to stop the seizures.) I had never really cried about everything that has happened to our family, but when reading about Noah (I had read back to Jan. to see what had happened to him) I wept. I wept for Noah, for my baby Joel, and for every other child I have come to love on our many hospital stays. You are so strong and your perspective on everything you have been through is incredible. It is an encouragement to me. God’s hand was definitely guiding me to you. Reading this post today, I realized how thankful I am that I know what Joel has (Tuberous Sclerosis Complex) and it makes me mad that doctors gave up on finding out what was wrong with Noah. How many more babies have to die before they insist on finding the answer? I don’t want to sound harsh, but it’s the truth. To end on a positive note, thank you for sharing your life with us. I am and will be praying for you.

  3. Andrienne – I pray that you find the answers that you are looking for and God guide’s you thru it. I am sooooooooooo looking forward to Noah’s book!! I missed seeing pictures of him again, I’m glad you posted some. Have a wonderful time!

  4. Adrienne, I just stumbled on your blog this week and have been in awe. I realized that I had a really ungrateful heart lately and your blog and Noah’s story has changed me. Thank you for reminding me about true faith. You are in my prayers and I don’t say that lightly. I can’t wait to read Noah’s book. May this week bless you!

  5. Will definitely be praying for you as you have your solo retreat! I pray that it is a continued time of healing for you as you get a chance to be alone with God, and also that it will productive and you will get lots written!

    Can’t wait to hear about your week – lots of exciting things happening!

  6. This will be an incredible weekend of ministry and week of clarity for you. — as far as the 80’s prom dress. Hold onto it! You’ll use it again. Mine is coming out of the closet for a party this weekend!! Go 80’s puff sleeves and mullets!


  7. Lord God, I pray that you would lead, guide and direct Adrienne this weekend. I pray for divine appointments at the gala. I pray that as she spends intimate time with you while she is alone, your words will freely flow through her as she writes her book. Father I pray that she will be completely refreshed and not drained after this weekend. That you would do a miracle and give her your power and strength and sweet sleep while she is away. Let there be protection and peace at home with Jason and Em. May your will be done in their family’s life.
    In Jesus Name
    So be it!

  8. You will always have a friend here in good ol’ SD praying for you. I pray that God will give you the right words to speak at your event. I just know you will do a wonderful job! I am also praying that you will have a successful few days to write Noah’s story. THat the words will just flow right out of you and you will have peace of mind knowing you did a good job in telling his story! If there is ever anything I can do to help, please let me know!!!

  9. Praying for you as you enjoy some of God’s beautiful creation with Jason and Em, then get away on your own for some Daddy/Daughter time. I pray that the Holy Spirit would fill you and that God would allow you to have clarity as you write. I’m sure it will be an emotional few days for you as you re-live all the details of Noah’s life as you write -or type- them down (not that you don’t do that daily as it is, but I think you know what I mean). What an awesome opportunity this is for you. Can’t wait to hear how God speaks to you when you get back!

  10. Adrienne, you will do a bang-up job speaking and I am certain that the Lord and Noah will be sending you LOTS of words to write down and keep for your book. Be ready to keep up with those thoughts and words, but try to take some time for yourself.


  11. be safe, rest, listen to His voice…and enjoy life. I am awaiting the book in hardback cover… not on the computer screen.

    God will be with you, every step and word.

    Praying Jane!

  12. Dear Adrienne & Jason,

    I continue to pray for you every day. I am scheduled to be in Denver, Sept. 21-26, to visit my son Pete & his wife [Matt’s older brother – of “Matt & Molly” from TMM] and also to attend the advanced training in Bereavement Facilitator. I have chosen to use my grief of my wife’s death to better equip me to help others in their grief. Pray for me too that I will be used for His purposes as you so clearly are.



  13. You, your family, and Noah will always be in my prayers. There is no need to ask!

    Can’t wait for the book.

    – John Lasota

  14. Adrienne,
    About one year ago I found your blog, and my life has never been the same. Thank you for your raw expressions of faith.
    Sure wish I would be at today’s women’s luncheon at RRC…unfortunately we have “All Team Member Meetings” today (in which I participate). I look forward to hearing about it in future posts.
    I will be praying for you today and this week…wow…sounds exhilerating, overwhelming and “fruitful” (hehe) all at the same time. May God be glorified in all of it, and may His Words flow through you both today and in your writings.

  15. I didn’t read this until now so the brunch is probably over but I will pray for your evening and the events that are planned for the upcoming week.

    I pray that God gives you clarity and that He flows through the every word you pen.

  16. Praying for you today and always. Those pictures hurt my heart, I can only imagine the thoughts that go through your mind each and every time you look at them; Peace at knowing Noah is in the arms of our Father and sadness b/c I’m sure you miss him more than words can say….

  17. I hope that God is making Himself known to you and guiding your heart,mind and pen{or keyboard}. I am amazed at how you uses people… and thouroughly enjoy reading about how He continues to use you!

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