Blog commenter, “Jonnie Who”, thank you for leaving your thoughts and challenging questions.

As I have mentioned in the past, when reading a person’s written statements we do not know the tone of voice or the spirit with which it is written, nor can we see facial expressions…all important pieces of effective communication. Unfortunately, that is what has occurred with my “Confessions of a treadmill walker” post, I believe, and with my heart to ban “Anonymous”. Case in point…one of my friend’s called me tonight because she was so fired up by your comment that she wanted to post in my defense. I did not feel threatened or fired up by your comment. Two people reading the same comment taking away different intentions…

First, I did not choose the word “confession” because I was sinning and seeking forgiveness. Confession, or declaration, was my intent…a continuation of my journey here in Blogville that is always candid and never tries to portray a picture of perfection…simply stating the reality of things that go through our minds randomly in the blink of an eye. I was being honest, but not mean-spirited at all. If anyone wrote what wandered through their minds in the span of an hour, truthfully speaking that is, not all of it would be perfect.

If you were to know me personally you would know that I was not criticizing any one’s clothing. The guy with the shirt cut down to his hips was violating my freedom of sight as much as any other scantily clad person in public. I did not have, nor did I express, an opinion of who I thought the person was, nor did I draw a conclusion that they were less of a person. My observation was that immodest clothing that reveals body parts meant to be covered puts other in a precarious position of not being able to look around a room in peace. When we choose what to wear on any given day modesty is a great baseline, not only for ourselves, but for the benefit of others. It’s actually our responsibility.

As far as the zebra print pants…there, again, I was not criticizing or judging the person. It took me back to high school weight training class, hence the “Classic. DUDE!” statements. I grew up in the 80’s and 90’s and love when people rock those fashions today because I am not swayed by what the fashion industry deems “popular” or “current”. There are some clothes “out there” that are bad, but I obviously don’t care enough that I would have a show like, “What Not to Wear” or something like that…some of those commentaries are judgmental and even hurtful. Mine certainly was not, and if anyone had been there to read my mind and hear the tone in my head, I do believe you would agree…I was not judging them. I thought it was great! The “Oh no you don’t” part of that statement implied “Dude, that rocks! You go!”

Next, as far as the word “stupid” relating to the female suicide bombers, as I wrote it I thought of the words, “brainwashed, dulled, misinformed, ignorant”. Truly, though, those women weren’t ignorant, so “stupid” is not the appropriate word there. They were informed and convicted enough to believe that killing themselves along with many innocent people, as their “heroes” have done before them, would be for the “good of their people” and Allah. As I looked up the definition for “stupid”, dulled and brainwashed more accurately highlighted my intent in using the word “stupid”. I was not using it in the way teenagers think of each other or as slang, but in the true sense of the word. And, to clarify, they aren’t ignorant because my friend that worked in the Muslim world has revealed a lot about the strict regulations and abusive conditions for Muslim women…they were, in fact, intelligent to free themselves of that world. However, innocent people were murdered in the process. Suicide should be individualistic, not corporately mandated by dictators, or anyone else for that matter.

And, concerning why I am banning “Anonymous” from my blog, the “real reason” is this: as a blog author who has welcomed “Anonymous” in the past and even had debates with some posters, I realized that by continuing to welcome it here and “entertain” their actions is only enabling their unhealthy behavior of hiding behind masks. I don’t want to take part in that anymore. I don’t want to spend time reading mean, hateful comments by people who do not know me from Adam. I don’t want to be their “codependent” or “enabler”. As far as emails, I have received emails from people that disagree with me, though they are few and far between, not because few people disagree, but because those that are mean-spirited love to hide and emailing directly would reveal a way to be in dialogue with them candidly…actually engaging them in the true nature of “Freedom of Speech”. “Anonymous” is easier. And, those who have emailed me, I have not reciprocated with a “cussing out”. My “version” of “cuss” is #$%^&* and I don’t use it sparingly here on my blog. What readers input when it comes to #$%^&* is up to them…not a reflection of my thoughts.

Also, “Anonymous”, in general, has called me “sadistic” for keeping Noah on a ventilator for 5 months, accused me of not grieving long enough for my son, charged my friend of being “uneducated” about birth control because “Anonymous” thinks my friend has too many children, and quite honestly, I could go on and on. Taking the time to read the hateful posts and then delete them is not worth my heart or time. Hatred can make its home elsewhere.

Finally, Jesus did not hide behind “Anonymous”. He openly went to His Father’s temple and turned tables on the money changers and blasphemers of the day. He told the dead to bury the dead. He confronted the religious leaders of the day…the learned ones, the teachers and elders. That’s what He did. I am not Jesus, nor am I claiming to be Jesus or to act like Him. I claim that He is my Savior, my Lord, and the object of my daily pursuit…and the Giver of my mercies that are new every single day…and the grace which is sufficient for me to take each new breath and place one foot in front of the other. Jesus was perfect. I am a fallen person. “WWJD” is not always the same as WWAD. I make mistakes. I do not follow the law as it states in Galatians because it is imperfect and impossible to follow. I aim to follow Christ, have never claimed to do it perfectly and I happen to have a random sense of humor, which obviously has been mistaken and misconstrued.

As far as “rising up and conducting myself in a manner that would be pleasing to Christ”, thank you for that charge…as I seek Him daily, I will wait on Him for His opinion of what that looks like and rely upon His grace that when I am not doing it well, according to His will for His children, He will convict me, discipline me and move me to remain at His feet until He sees fit.

I agree. Obedience to Christ is all that matters…and I’ve never claimed to be the “perfect Christian”. Thank you, “Jonnie Who” for the challenge.


7 Responses

  1. Thanks for your clarifications. It’s helpful to hear them.

    I’m sorry to have made your friend upset – not my intention at all to make anyone upset.

    None of us are perfect and can only do the best we can. I’m sure you endeavor to do that as do most of your readers.

    Have a good day.

  2. Hi. I’m a long time reader and a 1st time commenter. Jesus’ said that they(unbelievers) would know who we are in Him by our love for one another, not our judgment. Even if I don’t agree with something you say I don’t know you personally and I’m not about to correct someone who’s not in my sphere of influence. There is always a place for correction in the body of Christ, but not among complete strangers. I completely agree with you about blocking anonymous comments. And as a side note I’m a personal trainer and have had the same thoughts about people’s attire all the time at our Y. My least favorite are the teenagers who wear the shortest shorts possible and you can see their rear. I’m happy for your and your family as you move into a new season. And good for you for staying active during pregnancy!! Be Blessed=)

  3. not to jump into a huge can of worms….:o) but the one thing that i do not get and have never understood about the blog world is this: why do people read or follow a blog if they disagree or dislike MOST of what someone is saying?

    i have very good friends…scratch that…FAMILY MEMBERS that i don’t agree with about a lot of things. but i agree or love them in the areas that matter.

    this is a blog. if you do not agree or like it and you are not a close friend or family member, why does it bother one so?

  4. In observing people over the years, I’ve noticed that some have a strong (or REALLY strong) desire to correct others if they feel the other(s) aren’t thinking/acting the way they should. Some of these people who feel they should correct others have a “teaching gift” within them….some have “control issues” and need to be in charge of what others think….and some are just arrogant enough to think that they are inheritantly more inteligent than others who don’t think the same way they do and that they, therefor have the right to correct others….then, there are some who don’t have any control over anyone in their own lives, so they become “vicariously” involved in trying to manage how other people act and think.

    There were times when Jesus was completely judgemental….and He was speaking the Mind of the Father…and it was Truth. Truth is not something that we as individuals decide….it is what God says is Truth.

    I have known Adrienne since she was born….she has her own ideas about things, which she is entitled to…..what she does not do is try to impose her way of thinking or acting on others. She also doesn’t ” walk” into other peoples blogs (or anywhere else) and give them a piece of her mind. She does not feel compelled to impose her personal ideas or rules on people in their “territory”….even if she doesn’t agree with them.

    Oh yeah, I’m her mother, Bebe.

  5. There are also people who care enough about others and want them to be the best they can be and give suggestions on things to think about without being controlling.

  6. Well said Ade. I hate the fact that people think they can hide behind anonymous and get away with saying anything they want. I agree with the freedom of speech but we have also been taught one simple rule. My mother always told me if you don’t have anything nice to say….don’t say anything at all. Its hard on the internet to see the emotion behind the post so it can be taken many different ways. People need to remember that! I usually won’t post a comment if I can’t clarify my feeling behind it. I agree with Heidi…..why follow a blog if you don’t agree with what they are saying most of the time? Mr/Ms Anonymous accuses you of juding yet they judged you. I still love ya Ade!!!!

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