Where Lies Your Beauty?

Today, Em and Ry and I were walking through Walmart.  As we stopped to honk the bike horns on the aisle display, parked between youth men’s clothing and the craft aisles, my eyes locked on the new Sport Illustrated swimsuit calendar, displayed right next to the Justin Bieber and Harry Potter posters.  Thankfully, come December […]

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A Funny

(Photo: What’s Cooking in America) After dinner Em was searching the freezer for the stash of chocolate chips. As she was going to shut the door a bag of walnuts slipped off the top shelf. In her 9 year old way, she tried to shut the freezer door while the walnuts fell in mid-air instead […]

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Prego shots…

Here you go. Belly shots. I am in my 31st week and these are my first pictures. I don’t know why I haven’t taken any yet…maybe it’s because in general, I don’t take a ton of pictures of myself or maybe it’s because I feel so large that documenting my ‘largeness’ just isn’t that appealing. […]

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Sperm and Hard-boiled eggs

So, this morning I made Em hard-boiled eggs for breakfast. The following conversation ensued: Em: Look, Mom! A perfect yolk…I didn’t break it while I was opening my egg. Maybe I should take it to Show and Tell… Me: As soon as we put it in a bag it may break… Em: Mom, was this […]

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Smarter than her mom…

I love our morning routine…minus trying to put on socks and shoes, but other than that, Jason and I usually tag team jumping in bed with Em for a few minutes and nuggling, as we call it, as we convince her it’s time to leave the comfort of her warm bed to get up and […]

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Emilyism

Em just lost the same tooth on the other side of her mouth last night, so has two holes…must take pic. We played bumper bowling the other day. I’m not going to lie…the bumpers came in handy for me, too! This morning Em came and jumped in bed with me a little early, but with […]

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Life is a comedy…

I’m just trying to save some money here, people: Em, screaming at the top of her lungs from the bathroom as if a creature had come up from the sewer and was attacking her: Mom! MOMMMMMMMM! COME HERE, FAST! Hurry, have you seen this?! Me, in the other room, thinking my child is drowning in […]

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Part 2…

Well, Em wanted to hop in bed early so she could read me books, I could read her books, and she could draw some pictures. I asked her to pick out which books she wanted and she chose “The Bones Book” by Stephen Cumbaa, and, most importantly in this case, illustrated by Kim La Fave. […]

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SEX!

Quick, I have to write this before I forget… Me: Is Clare pregnant?Em: Claire, my babysitter?Jason (simultaneously with Em): Clare N?Me: Yes.Jason: Yeah, about 6 months, maybe.Me: Thanks for letting me know…Em: Claire my babysitter? She’s 16. How can she have a baby?*Smoke fills the room, lights dim, Beethoven’s Symphony #1 in C, Allegro con […]

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Emilyism

Em: Mom, what’s an ‘atom’?Me: It’s the building block of life. We’ll need to look up the official definition when we get home, but it is a scientific term that describes the core of what everything else in life is made up of. Let’s look it up when we get home because that would be […]

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