Nacho: What about the orphans?
Steven: I hate them!
Nacho: What’s that you said?
Steven: I hate orphans!
Nacho: Come again?
Nacho: Say that to my face!
(Nacho and Steven start wrestling…)

Okay, raise your hand if you’ve seen ‘Nacho Libre‘. Me too. Noah did, as well. I took my nephew to see it in June or July ’06 and Noah ate and snoozed the whole time. ANYWAY, for anyone who has not seen the movie, if the dialogue above is offensive to you, please just know Steven changes his heart later…He likes them.

SO, if you read the above dialogue out loud with a Mexican voice inflection and insert the word “fruit flies” for “orphans“, you’ll get a glimpse into what’s been running through my head for two weeks now! Honestly, there are days that I feel like the dirty kid from ‘Charlie Brown’ who carries his stinky blankie everywhere and there are always clouds of dust and flies following him…although, I SHOWER AND DON’T CARRY A STINKY BLANKIE AND SO, these blasted fruit flies shouldn’t be following me!

First they started out in the kitchen, around the FRUIT, of course! Is this not disgusting to anyone else?! The fact that creatures in the wild lay LARVAE on our food and then they cling on for dear life, WITHOUT A VISA MIND YOU, and cross the border into our grocery stores, just waiting and watching that someone will ‘pick me’ to go home with! It’s a conspiracy, I tell you! They usually NEVER hatch at the stores! They always wait until they have arrived in your nice clean home and, presto chango, the life cycle proceeds into an annoying pest in the kitchen. Then, we brought some beautiful flowers home from our friends’ wedding and the fruit flies thought we had upgraded their living accommodations. NO they weren’t for you, you freaking bugs! Then, I found 7 carcasses in a spider web in the corner of a window. The ONE time in my life I’ve appreciated SPIDERS! I can see them hovering in mid-air. I clap my hands together in front of me, like a crazy lady, squashing them perhaps only 20% of the time. I opened my closet door yesterday to get dressed and, I kid you not, two flew out to greet me! What the heck?! My clothes don’t fit you, yucky bugs! After church on Sunday, we went to Tokyo Joe’s for a bite. Em and I went to the girls’ room to wash our hands. Guess what was on the mirror staring back at me, taunting me, saying, “I’m a friend of a friend that has taken up residency in your house, lady. We’re not leaving you alone. We know where you live, eat, sleep, work out, we’ll find you, we’ll always find you…” UGH!

We have taken action. We have done the obvious and put all fruit in either our bellies, the fridge or the freezer. The flowers were gone a long time ago, so they don’t live there. I threw all of our plants away while Noah was in the hospital, so I know that’s not an issue. We don’t leave food sitting around and there aren’t crumbs or spills anywhere because, one, we just don’t, and two, the house has to be spotless 24-7 since it’s on the market. SO, why won’t these annoying visitors just go away?! They have worn out their welcome. They aren’t house guests! Seriously. Then it occurred to me, after Em had Jason read her the story of Moses and the Egyptian Pharaoh and the 10 plagues for the 100th time…I said, “Jason, please pray right now! What if God’s trying to tell us something?!” He said, “I hardly think 12 fruit flies is a plague from God.” Yet he did pray. Hey, I just wanted to cover all of my bases! Our friend suggested vinegar with a slice of banana in a cup with plastic wrap on top with a few small holes for the mangy, pesky, fruit sucking creature to enter. I’m willing to try it, but that means I have to BUY BANANAS! I already said it, it’s a conspiracy!



26 Responses

  1. Bleach in your drains, and some hairspray! They are hard to splat, but you can always get them with hairspray!
    A squirt of hairspray will glue their little wings to themselves and, well you get the picture.

    They also like washcloths.
    My husband once bought me roses, and here, fruit flies CAME from the roses! Ive never seen anything quite like it and really dont care for roses like I once did!

  2. We get them too. I second the bleach in the drains. We have also put red wine into a paper cup and then put plastic wrap with holes cut in and presto…their gone. I put the cups in the kitchen and in bathrooms. Be prepared though, the next morning, it is disgusting! They are attracted to moisture so don’t leave wet sponges, etc out.

  3. I had to laugh because we’ve been having the same battle lately and it grosses me out, every year!

    I like the cup ideas. I’d been throwing fruit or food in a plastic bag, waiting for a while, then trying to close it up really quick to trap them all in.

    Inevitably some would escape. Had I only known the cup tricks… TOO EASY!


  4. moth balls work too! especially since they are flying out of your closet at you. I agree, it is a conspiracy! But you can win 🙂

  5. Glad to know I’m not alone in the battle against those pesky fruit flies! Our house is on the market too – don’t ya just love ONE more thing to clean up 24/7?
    The little boy I do daycare for is moving to Denver next month – I’m sitting here kicking myself for not sending his parents to see your house. DARN.

  6. I was going to delurk to tell you to bleach your drains (just the kitchen one worked for me) but since that’s already been covered, I’ll just delurk to tell you how much your blog has affected me since I found it about … maybe 2 months ago? I went back and read it all and fell in love with your precious Noah. Your faith is amazing, your little Em is amazing, and not a day goes by when I don’t think of you when I’m facing challenges with my own kiddos and remember not to take a second with them for granted.

    Thank you for your transparency in all you share!

    Hope you get rid of those nasty little beasts – I was disgusted when we had that problem but the bleach somehow did the trick!

  7. I have the pesky things in our house too, this year. And now that you mention it, it is relatively soon after I bring the fruit home.
    Anyway, my trick is a cup with soda or fruit juice in the bottom, with a few drops of cooking oil – The little pests head to the juice, but get stuck in the oil mixture.
    It has worked wonders here in MN!
    Good Luck!

  8. I don’t like ’em either, but they don’t bother me too much. I think it’s all that wine you have out around your counters and in your closet and all… they LOVE wine! Hee. jk–but not too much.

  9. Ick. I hate fruitflies too. This reminds me of my recent rant about the tiny, black ANTS that I’ve had a time getting rid of. We actually had an exterminator come 4 times!!! (in less than 3 weeks)

  10. Ha. I laughed so hard. I cannot believe the plague of fruit flies we have right now as well. I have collected carafes full of them and yet they still do not go away. Guess I will go grab the bleach.

    Good luck!!


  11. I too have been having trouble with fruit flies! They really are annoying. It seems like whenever I open my garbage can, they are coming out of there in swarms. SO, I have been taking out my garbage more regularly…not just for that, but like you, I have a house on the market and have to keep it spotless. I feel your pain! You’ve had yours up for awhile now, haven’t you? I will pray that it sells soon! And thanks for posting on your friend and his accident…I’m praying for him too.

  12. Tell Jason I agree it might be a plague. I have battled them here in Indiana as well. They came with some bananas, and apparently they reproduce and multiply very quickly. The little buggars are annoying, and I could not kill them with bleach or vinegar. I had not heard about the juice and cooking oil, so I will make a mental note of that one to try in the future. I ended up using Raid on them. Even that didn’t work on contact, like the bottle claims, but it did eventually kill them. So if you get desperate, head to the store and get some raid. Good luck in your efforts to eliminate the pesky things!

  13. It’s funny because as soon as we put our house on the market, we had a bad infestation of fruit flies. It was driving us nuts. Barry finally found the source and they’re gone, but I will say the “trap” that worked for me until then was a small bowl with apple cider vinegar and a few drops of dish detergent mixed together. The detergent breaks the surface tension so that they can’t just sit on the top and enjoy the cider vinegar. Sara K

  14. I hear ya, completely! Travis left a piece of fruit in a jar he “thought” he emptied out and, it never got stivky or anything (it was a fruit bowl we have on our countertop), I looked in it one day for no appearant reason and noticed like 100 fruit flies on the wall by the bowl and 1,000 more came flying out of the bowl! GROSS!!! That was about a month ago and I still a couple here and there. Everytime I try to hit one I have slap it really hard or else they just wont die. Man, I hope you get rid of yours b/c they are a pain!

  15. I am in Indiana and I too have been walking around my house, clapping my hands, trying to get rid of pesky fruit flies. I bought foggers to set off, but haven’t done it yet because that means I have to cover up all the food and dishes in the kitchen. I also have to find someplace to take the dog for a few hours. Maybe I will try some other remedies first.
    I am with you on the “conspiracy thoery”. 🙂 I noticed the fruitflies after buying bananas. So even though my family loves to eat bananas, I won’t buy them!

  16. Yep, the vinegar in the cup really works.
    Other than that, I’ve got nothing. Except to say thanks for making my morning. I finally laughed out loud at something other than a stupid commercial. And yes, I’m watching TV. Only a little, though. 🙂

  17. put some red vinegar in a cup with a couple of squirts of dish liquid and stir it up. leave it out where they seem to congregate and you’ll eventually have them in the bottom of the cup. YOu’ll have to keep doing ith until all the eggs hatch and those flies go to the cup as well. i know, it’s gross, but it works.

  18. I also like that film of Jack Black which is Nacho Libre. It makes me laugh just to think of it. I also hate fruit flies. I am sick of them. They just keep coming back no matter how hard I try. I guess I will try to use the red vinegar thing that Allison says. However I have found a site that offers many solutions to fruit flies. I guess I have to share it also.

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