time; parenting

Country Western

So, I know I’m near 40ish, one because of the “freckles” on my arms, two because there are 20-somethings in my life who ask me what I want at my big “40th” celebration, three because Jason just turned 39 and he’s 6 months older than I am, and four because I can do math. It was one of my best subjects until I went to college…40 minus 38.5 equals one and a half years.

I’m cool with that.

Age has always been just a number to me. Yes, it marks the passage of time, but time isn’t all bad…not the passing of it, anyway. So much happens within the measurement of time, whether it be good or bad. Since Noah came into my life, I’ve treasured and respected time much more than I had in the past. Time is important to me. I’ve learned that time is a love language I speak. I’m not saying I speak it well, I’m just saying I am aware that it’s a big deal to me.

When time is a big deal to a person, especially for moms, it can be easy to become frustrated when it’s wasted or passes too quickly. Or, if it gets “interrupted”.

I wonder how often “our time” is interrupted, when in reality, it’s God’s way of redirecting us…redirecting our hearts, our passions, our agendas. We think that what we have going on is the most important task in the world, when truly, what needs to be accomplished is sitting on the hammock for 6 minutes with our kids while they tell us about their days or stopping to snuggle our sweet kid who has a fever and just wants his or her mommy.

Mom’s are masters at multi-tasking…for the most part, at least. But I have seen over the last 8 years of being a mom, both to Em and while Noah was hospitalized, that even though I could multi-task didn’t mean, at that moment in time, I was supposed to be doing more than one thing at once. Sometimes I needed to be solely focused on whatever the two of us were doing, even if that meant playing with play dough or reading books or snuggling at bedtime rather than cleaning a toilet or even having dinner ready before 8:00!

Kids obviously need to learn that the world does not revolve around them. If we stopped everything, all the time, everyday to “watch this”, our homes would be disasters, our children would look like waifish little rug rats, and we’d never even have the chance to brush our teeth.

But, kids need time. They need eye contact. They need two ears on them once in a while. Because, before you know it, time will have passed…it won’t be like this for long.

I sit here 5 weeks out from my due date. (Whatever the heck that means, right? As my doctor said, “He’ll come when it’s his birthday.” I tell ya, that doc of mine sure is one smart fella!) 8 years have passed since Em was a teeny tiny baby. I remember walking in the daily moments with her as they came, but I can’t remember details of being a mommy to a baby. It’s surreal that, at some point, this kid will be in need of potty training. (Thankfully, this time around Jason will be called into play for instructions, since, of course, I don’t have that kind of plumbing…) But while that is happening, I’ll probably be buying Em a “training bra”…which brings me to “Country Western” and the referral to my age…

At least when I was younger (and everyone I asked from AZ), we referred to that unique music from the South as “Country Western”. Maybe it was an Arizona thing since we were from the West but not really living in the country. We were city-folk, so to us, the music style was “Country Western”. I’ve been informed by a couple 20-somethings that it’s just “Country”. Either way, it’s never been the music of my choice. My friends Ashley and Angie in college exposed me to it on a road trip to Florida once. It wasn’t bad. I couldn’t tell you much about it now except that we listened to Garth Brooks back in that day. It was Angie’s car…I didn’t have much of a choice!

I don’t have any Country Western albums or music on my Zune, but recently Gina, a certain 20-something former radio co-host made me what she titled “Adrienne’s Tractor Tunes”. If you ever heard our radio show, “The Well” you’ll know I regularly mocked the song about the green tractor. I mean, really…singing about your tractor? Anyway, I popped this CD into my computer…

…and it reminded me of why I don’t listen to Country Western music. (Gina, I love you, just not how sad Country Western music is…)

“It won’t be like this for long” is about the stages of life of a sweet baby girl who grows up too freaking fast…

“I loved her first” is about a dad singing to his daughter and her guy about how, not long ago, he was all she needed and that there’s a place in his heart that will always belong to him…

“Never wanted nothing more” is about a guy who has been drinking, down by the river in his car, wanting nothing more than that girl he’s with…

Now, “Cleaning this gun” I can totally see! It’s a dad singing to the guy who has intentions to take his daughter out for the evening. The dad says that’s fine…I’ll just be here at home cleaning my gun. I like this guy’s style…

The way I look at it, most of the songs reminded me of why time is important…why I’m being so sappy about Em going off to a 3 day overnight camp…why, when she does her own hair and pulls her bangs off to the side she looks like a young lady…why I stare at her just a little longer after her eyes have closed and she’s sleeping quietly on my night to tuck her into bed…why I am really looking forward to homeschooling her next year for a few more treasured moments with her in the day to day…why, whether I am supposed to or not, at 8+ months pregnant I still scoop her up into my arms at 55 lbs and hold her on my hip and tell her how much I love her!

I’m “Shameless”, I know, but “I Loved Her First” and she’s “My Little Girl”…”She’s Everything” and I know “It Won’t Be Like This For Long” so I’m going to “Love (her) Like Crazy”…because “My Next 30 Years” aren’t even promised.

The other day she tried to tell me that she loved me more than I could possibly love her. I know she was just trying to express how very much she loves me, but that girl has no clue as to how much I love her. I love her to the moon and back, bigger than the universe, more than I’ll truly ever be able to express…I want her to know she is loved…and the way she will know is through my time spent loving her.

7 thoughts on “Country Western

  1. “martha martha why do you flutter about…?”

    kind of along that theme? so true about taking time for the kids to focus, be PRESENT.

    very beautiful post.

  2. So beautifully said!

    Five weeks seems like forever when you’re pregnant . . . but it seems close for those of us watching from the outside—so looking forward to your little one’s arrival!

  3. I agree 100% with you. Brooklyn turned 10 and that was a hard birthday for me. 1.) because she was away at camp so I couldn’t even hug or kiss her 2.) because it doesn’t seem like 10 years since I held that beautiful baby girl 3.) it means in 8 years she will be gone to college. I loved this post and we have taken every free memnt we have had this summer just to hang out at home and enjoy our numbered warm days.

    Can’t wait to meet the new bundle and it was great seeing you when you guys were in SD. We will have to try for Guads next time! Love you guys!

  4. Yes. You’ve put it down beautifully. I’m now a grandmother (I know!), just had my 47th birthday, and still have an 8-year-old in my house. The youngest is reaping the benefits of a more mature mom who knows how fast the time flies by. Your kids will know when they become parents that there’s no way under heaven that they can love you more than you love them.

  5. Thank you for this incredible reminder. These moments are fleeting….I got a big ‘ol wakeup call the other day when my son imitated the way I speak to strangers in stores or restaurants and then asked why I didn’t talk in that nice voice to him. OUCH!!!!!

    They are precious, they are pliable, they are a gift….amazing how I can sometimes forget to treat them like they deserved to be treated.

  6. This is a very sweet post. I clicked on it a while ago and kept it minimized until I had the time to read it in full, because I know your longer posts are always worth reading when I can be present. All of your posts, this one especially, will be such a gift to Emily in the coming years. She will always be able to be reminded of your love, and the love you have for her brothers.

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