husbandsmarginmarriagemomsraising kids

What’s in your man-cave?

So, I was reading Proverbs 31 for the millionth time the other day. I have a lot of thoughts on this wife and mom, but for this particular post, I will share what stood out on that day. First, here are the scriptures:

” 10A wife of noble character, who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 12She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:10-12

Verse 11 is where I started jotting things down. The word “lacks” first jumped out at me. Followed by “value.” I have a good friend that is a professional organizer. She has worked some modern day miracles in peoples lives, helping them purge and reorganize. She’s even worked with big time hoarders. If I were to guess here, she helps clients determine what is of value to them, and then, with those things the client deems valuable, she helps put them in places where they are easily accessible. The things they are able to get rid of, those things that are simply taking up space, or lack value, they either donate or throw away.

It’s all about creating margin. Space. Not only in their physical homes but in their hearts and minds. Less is more.

Now, in all fairness, if you dropped by my casa right now you’d witness my organized chaos and want to call my friend the organizer to tattle on me. Don’t worry, she’s knows 🙂

But that’s not what I’m talking about here…

I looked up the definition of value. It talks of worth, both “material value” and “human value.”

Which one is verse 11 addressing?

It’s not difficult to realize that in light of eternity, the obvious answer is the eternal, Godly value of life and love. But the problem is, in America the land of excess, I think there is a big blur between our material and human values. I don’t think it. It’s rather obvious.

Do our husbands feel loved and have full confidence in us because their garages are chock full of man toys and their basements pimped to resemble something of an IMAX theatre? No. I mean, hopefully not. Hopefully if those things were swept away in an instant, you two would still have a foundation. (I’m not judging you if you have a lot of toys or a home theater. That’s not the point.)

The point is, if two people without earthly possessions can fall in love and stay in love, isn’t that man’s life full? He lacks nothing because he has what is truly valuable. He has love. He has relationship. He has trust.

On earth, we can get caught up in a rat race of the realization that there will always be someone else out there with more stuff than us. Filling our lives with more stuff won’t give us more value. Heck, even if you had an expensive house and genuine diamonds, were in all the right social circles and had loads of finances in the bank…if your heart was empty, your family distant, and your marriage a shell, compared to one of Jason’s (my husband) moms in Bolivia whose home is made of mud and wardrobe made up of two articles, but she has food on her table and beautiful children laughing and running around, well, it’s not hard to see which husband has value and which one is trying to fill his life with meaning.

Having lost a child it’s not difficult for Jason or me to not attach heartstrings or value to things.

Life is short. People are God’s very creation, an expression of Himself to share His love with the world.

And as moms, our children are only with us for a short time. That time is valuable. And, their lives are priceless. I guarantee that if you give your kid a hug and kiss and tell them how very special they are to you, they will feel so much more valued than if their toy box is full and they wear the latest fashions.

I know I have a lot of margin to create in my home. I have a list of projects that include purging, cleaning, donating and organizing. But when Jason comes home from his blessing of a job, arriving in his paid for car, to our beautiful house, he doesn’t hug the wall and kiss the television and the Blue Ray. Instead, he puts his computer bag down, tries to calm the spastic dog, crosses the kitchen to give me a kiss and then embraces and loves on his sweet kids that he hasn’t seen in hours.

3 thoughts on “What’s in your man-cave?

  1. And the last part makes me think of The Help. Have you read or seen it? “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” Yes, invest in those lives right now. Good word.

    I read Ryan’s family’s story in Home Life last month. The interview with his parents had me in tears. What an amazing witness to Ryan’s life and our heavenly Father.

  2. Southern Gal, I love The Help! Fabulous book, still haven’t seen the movie, but that line, “You is kind. You is smart. You is important,” stood out to me, too! LOVED Aibileen!

    Hey, I can’t find the interview in Home Life…any chance you could shoot me the link?

    adexoxox@gmail.com

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