This picture was taken 3 days before Noah was born. It’s a picture of what the previous 4 years had looked like, minus the extra 35 lbs on my cheeks and belly, but you get what I mean…the 3 of us. And now, here we are again, the three of us, doing life, wondering what God may have in store.
On Thursday, the 3 of us went to an appointment with my sister who is a PA-C with an ENT. Jason has bad seasonal allergies, I feel like I’m allergic to some foods, though I don’t really know which ones, and Em has bad eczema. We then went to a lab to have blood drawn for food allergy panel testing. Em was so excited! The lab guy couldn’t believe how brave she was…I told him that she learned bravery from her little brother. Em didn’t cry or flinch or anything, and I don’t know why since the guy kept the elastic pinched on her arm for 10 minutes while he searched for a good vein, then proceeded to “fish” for the vein with the needle in her arm…Jason went first and came out with a manly bruise. I was second and put the pressure on. I told the guy about the 11 pokes the nurses gave me when I had my miscarriage and then they finally called in a lab girl who got it right away. I said the best of the best is “Tony the amazing lab guy” at Children’s Hospital in Denver! He hadn’t drawn blood in 7 years and got my vein on the first draw and I couldn’t feel a thing! ANYWAY, hopefully we’ll have results to our food panel by the end of next week. I’m very curious to see what our allergies are since Noah was allergic to everything!
Incidently, since Dana’s clinic is ear, nose and throat, I had my hearing tested because for a few years I’ve been slowly losing hearing in my left ear and I have a constant drum beat or ringing. Well, I found out, not only can I not see without some seriously strong contacts or thick glasses, but I have classic otosclerosis. It’s where the muscles that contract the inner ear bones start calcifying. So, that’s neat…I still can touch, taste and smell!
Adrienne…I had a thought and it doesn’t pertain to this particular entry, but I realized it last night so I’ll share now. 😉
You mentioned the fear of looking at a new baby and wishing it was Noah. I have that fear too, looking at a new baby and wishing it was my sweet Andrew.
My husband and my dear friend both brought something to my attention. When I was pregnant with Andrew (and maybe before??) I had these fears that there was no way I could love him as much as I loved my 2 year old. I just couldn’t fathom it since I loved her so much!!! But being pregnant with him was a leap of faith. I actually told myself (and this is embarassing) that it was okay if I didn’t love him as much, that I would just pretend I did and it would be okay. (!!!!)
But sure enough, the minute he was born, I did!! I loved him with my whole heart for who he was. It was like my heart grew by two.
I think going on to have another baby will be a similar leap of faith. A scary pregnancy or adoption process, but then seeing the baby we will know that it is different, and we will love those babies for who they are.
Best of luck with whatever you both decide.
Well at least you have the touch,taste and smell still. LOL. I once knew a guy that couldn’t smell, I always thought that was so weird, how did he enjoy his food?
Hey Adrienne! What a beautiful picture of all four of you!!! I say four cause Noah was there, just cozy in your belly at the time!!LOL I can’t believe how brave Emily was, geez I need to take lessons from her on being brave! I am a big baby about anything like that! LOL Let her know how proud we are of her…I hope you get some answers back soon about the allergies. Maybe it can give you some answers about Noah along with helping you guys feel better too…So what are they going to do in regards to your hearing, is there any treatment where that is concerned?? We’re still praying for you guys!! Take care and please keep us posted as always!! I went ahead and signed up for a blogger account since I’m here so much although I’m a big dummy when it comes to navigating around this place! UGH!! LOL I could barely figure out how to put pics up!! LOL
Lots of Love,
Paula and Family
wow! that was a big day and i’m SO PROUD OF MISS EM!!! WHAT A BRAVE GIRL! I KNOW her brother would be proud too. 🙂
I recently had allergy panels done too.. it is such a relief to find some answers – I hope yours are clear and show answers too.
Heidi Jo W
Similar thoughts here. After Teagan died, every time since that we have taken a ‘family picture’, the first thing I notice is the ‘hole’ where Teagan should be. Noah will always be in your hearts and soul. Nobody or anything can ever take that away. Also, just had to add. You may have poor eyesight and hearing…but you can still give tight hugs and lots of kisses!! That trumps some of the other senses, as far as I’m concerned. Best to all of you as you seek answers to some of these medical concerns.
Hey there again Adrienne…I am glad I figured out a way to post comments, although I have to post them anonymous. The first thought that came to mind right after reading that was a pic 3 days before Noah was born was, “that was three days before knowing what a special little boy she would have, and what adventures would be in store.” Some might read that and think…adventures?!!?? But you and I both know that the Lord chose you to be Noah’s mommy, and although you no doubt had a heart breaking, life changing experience with Noah, look at how much good has come from Noah being put on this earth. Sometimes the Lord sends his Angels for only a short while to make a long lasting impact!!!
I actually see an allergist on Monday because I have been breaking out in hives. I have no clue what I am having a reaction to….argh!!!
Although in the physical there is only the three of you, in everyone’s heart there will always be four!
I am terribly sorry if I missed it in your blog but I don’t remember you mentioning a miscarriage before. So I would like to give my condolences to that now since I am just learning this. Now I understand what your previous post meant when you said kid 4.
That is definitely a beautiful photo of the three (actual four since Noah was in your tummy) of you. And you look just as beautiful with those extra pounds you speak about. Although you were still so tiny.
I do hope the health of your ear stays and it doesnt get any worse. I will pray for that today. And good luck on your allergy panels! That is going to be so interesting to see what you learn from it!
I hope you all have a lovely Saturday.
Wow. You are a beautiful family! Having sweet Noah in your arms is the only thing that could make this gorgeous picture any better.
Praying for you today.
hey, didn’t ya know you can’t have beauty, brawn, and hearing too. It’s all those muscles you’ve been getting from workin’ out all the time…they zap your hearing! Anytime you need some medical advice, just let me know. Us farmers know just about everything!!! Love ya,
This morning in class we were sharing some of the great things God has done for us. I wanted to share that one student said he thanked God for bringing him Noah, who changed his heart. We then ended our time with Psalm 106:1, which is our class verse. Thanks for touching these lives here. We even talked about hugging and outrageous contagious JOY today.
Hi Ade and Jay- You have been in my thoughts lots and lots lately. Em and Noah, too. And when I think of you, I pray.
We miss you. Can’t wait to see you sometime!
You are an incredibly strong woman/family. You are in My Favorites and I click on every once in awhile and read/pray/cry. I currently have a 5 month old little boy who was born 2/13/07 with only one kidney. I stressed a lot…but am so thankful that for now…that one kidney is working just fine. My heart totally breaks for what you and your family have gone through…and will continue to for the rest of your lives. Your faith moves me! Reading what you wrote strengthens my faith every time I read/think about things. Your brave little angel is with you…proctecting you, watching over you…and waiting for the day that you’ll be together again. Life is so fragile. We really realize that once we become parents! I will pray that if you decide to have another baby, that he/she will be healthy! You inspire so many with your strength. THanks for sharing…..I hope you’re all doing well! Jo in Minnesota