Here are two pictures of the dove release. We could not have had a more perfect ending to a ceremony for our son, Noah, whose name means Peace. The real question I want to know is how do the doves know to return to their homes? It’s like they are living boomerangs or something! Think about it…even Noah’s dove brought the branch back to him. It could have stayed on the tree from which the branch was plucked but it returned to Noah so that he knew the waters were residing.

Anyway, I’m not a “counter” but to state the obvious, it’s been a week. I miss my boy like crazy! I can’t smell him and that really bothers me! I want so badly to speed over to the hospital and jump up in his crib with him and spoon him all night long, hold his hands and smooch the heck out of him! That has been the hardest part all week…not being at home, but the NOT being at the hospital. I want to go visit everyone there soon, but it may take a little while…

Today Em and I were playing with blocks in the family room…
Em: “Let’s build Noah’s castle in Heaven!”
Me: “Okay, what does it look like?”
Em: “There are clouds everywhere on the ground and gold columns by the door and then a big huge tower.”
(Sounds nice. I wonder how many kids get glimpses of Heaven and we pass it off as “just dreams”?)

Meanwhile, we’re helping our church plant a new site downtown this Sunday on the 16th Street Mall at the Pavillions Theatre at 10:00 am. Come if you don’t already have a church…we don’t want to “church steal” even though the Church has no walls.



20 Responses

  1. J & Ade:

    I’m sitting here bawling my eyes out. So incredibly sorry. I’m just stunned and speechless. The photos are so powerful, and I gotta say, Adrienne, you need to write a book.

    You guys are heroes. Come to Portland again, sometime.

    Casey & Sabina Hill
    casenbina at comcast dot net

  2. It’s hard to know what to do with yourself isn’t it? One day you’re so sick of those doctors and nurses coming in and out of the room waking you up… and the next day you’d give anything just to see them take just one more annoying temperature!

    I too would do it all over again… I would live through every moment of joyful hope and painful heartache just for one more moment. But I guess those are the memories He gives us to get us through tomorrow.

    I can’t pull your familiy away from my head or my heart. Just know that you are there…


  3. Jason and Adrienne,
    Thank you so much for continuing to let us be a part of this journey with you. I wait anxiously for each post. I admire your wisdom and experience the joys and sadness with you. I never had the privilege of meeting your sweet Noah, but find myself missing him terribly. I can only imagine how much that is intensified for you all. I have been praying that the peace that passes all understanding would cover you each day. I so look forward to the day He comes for all of us and life of pain, sickness, and the unknown would be forever over!
    May God Bless you richly for blessing all of us everyday! Thank you!

  4. As one who has lived through the grief and pain of loss, I just want to encourage you to take it one day at a time. I remember coming home from the hospital after my daughter’s death, and trying to make sense of what to do now was the most painful part of the whole experience. I missed my little girl, and was overcome with heartbreak that I couldn’t feel or touch her on earth again. But there was a tremendous peace that sustained (and continues to sustain!) me as I entertained thoughts of her in Heaven. I remember my husband telling me that she wouldn’t come back even if she could…Heaven was too wonderful and couldn’t compare with life on earth. So, the struggle for me came with trying to ‘live without’ her. It hurts…and I’m sure you have already felt that. Noah was and always will be a big part of your lives and hearts. I will keep thinking and praying you through this journey you are on. The road may not always be one full of well-wishes anyou may feel alone at times…but that is when I will think of you and whisper a prayer for you to continue to heal and experience peace. I wish you God’s comfort, blessings and grace to you at this time…and throughout your days til you see Noah again!

  5. Your strength and peace continues to amaze me. The Lord bless you and keep you. I agree with the one who commented that you should write a book. To God be the glory.

  6. Hey guys, it’s Jen Berry, Russ’ sister. I am so sorry for you guys’ lost, but as you said, Noah is were he belongs. Y’all have been in my thoughts and prayers through out this 7 months and I will continue to pray and think of you guys for months and years to come. I so wish we still lived in Colorado still so I could have been there for you guys through this. I miss you guys and give Emily a hug from Kaylee. I found a picture of Emily and Kaylee when they were about 6 months old when we went to I think the 16th street mall. But it’s a picture of the two of them on your couch. Too Cute! Take Care. Love you guys.

    Jen,Kaylee,Karoline and Paul Berry


    I’m just loving you in my heart right now… may Jesus be the soothing balm for that ache that comes with the tides.

  8. Hey guys 🙂

    So I’m writing this on a slim HOPEFUL chance that you’ll read this and be able to give me more information about the church plant in denver. (just so happens I’m looking for one! :))

    I have been reading this blog for several months, and am completely blown away with your familys faith and persistance in the Lord.

    Anyways – thank you so much for sharing all of this with us.

    So back to church… if you get this in time please e-mail me information about the church in denver 🙂

    God bless!

  9. I loved hearing about the dove release (what a special idea!) and really enjoyed seeing the photos of it.

    Oh, I definitely agree that you would write a powerful book if you ever are led to do so!

    You should know that you have opened doors in my life to share Christ (sometimes AGAIN) with people close to me. I have finally added a link to Noah’s blog on my blog. I have quite a circle of people around me now (believers and not-yet-believers) who speak about you with me often. Thank you for sharing your journey…it is a story of love and faith that is resonating (near and) far away from where you guys are. I am blessed and proud to be part of this ever-growing circle. I am proud to know you and to have known Noah.

  10. Jason and Ade:

    I continue to think about the special time I spent with you and Em and your families and friends and it gives me such strength and hope. My prayers for you will increase as you approach a time in your lives that might feel raw and all-to-real as the fog begins to lift. In Denver, the sun shines 300 days each year. That’s His light, uncovering all that is real, but with the constant reminder that He is there.

    Miss you guys more that I ever thought I could. Tears come now that I haven’t had since last Friday but that need to come out and clense.

    Ade, you are the best friend I’ve ever had. I’ll always be here for you if you need anything, any time. You call, and I’m there in about 7 hours. You were right, you all are my family and I cherish you all beyond words.

    Give Em a big squeeze for me.

    Love you, Clara

  11. Thanks for sharing you most intimate moments with us. Your family is such a bright light for Jesus!! Noah looks at such peace in the arms of The Father. Em you are a shinning light and a beautiful little girl. Our thoughts and prayers will be with you in the days to come. God Bless!

  12. Dear Noah’s family,

    No words that I can offer other than to say I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your little boy. Tho I have never met your family, I have read your blogs, and want you to know that your Sweet Baby Boy has left his little footprints in my heart as I’m sure he did many of people here. I am in Pennslyvania, so he has made it this far also! He was and still is a very beautiful little boy. May he rest in peace and I hope god is gentle on your family in helping to heal. Please know that you and Noah have touched many lives thru your blogs more than you know! Take care and good luck.
    Another “Mom” in Pa…….

  13. I am not sure who you are or what you son died of, but your blog brings tears to my eyes and makes me so thankful that my children are healthy. I found your website thru the hummels website. Your testimony and you love for the Lord is so amazing. Your family is on my mind and I want you know that as a Physician’s Assistant your story makes me want to read more and learn more about things that are uncommon so that if I ever find a patient like your son that I will know what is wrong and know how to help/heal (thru Jesus) him/her.

    God bless your family!

  14. I’ve been reading the blog and crying… I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my own Noah, (Noah Allen) on July 5th,2004 when he was 12 days old. He was very premature… your site is beautiful as is your son and little girl!

  15. Dear Adrienne, Jason, and Emily,
    Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us all. We praise the Lord for his truly astounding grace that has allowed you to love Noah so deeply, care for him so tenderly, and release him so joyfully. Noah’s life truly did touch many, many thousands of people…even us half a world away, serving the Lord in Asia.

    We want you to know that we will continue to pray for you, as there will undoubtably be hard days ahead, but we know that the strength of our God is enough to sustain you, and He is faithful!

    I also have this to say: the Lord was honored by your faith, and because the Lord chose to answer your prayers by taking Noah home, you can rest assured that His perfect plan was accomplished. Our family fought a similar fight of faith with my older brother Dan, who eventually went to be with the Lord on his 33rd birthday. At that time we had such a peace that we had prayed, God had answered, and it was a GOOD answer. It was the Lord’s victory, and so it is with sweet Noah.

    My seven-month old baby girl is squirming on my lap as I write this, and your story has also reminded me to be thankful for the squirms, the cries, and the early morning feedings that I know you would love to be doing right now. Your witness has helped to convict me of my own whiny attitude sometimes. Thank you.

    Our prayers will continue to go with you. We praise the Lord for his beautiful child, Noah!

    Blessings from Asia,
    Rachel (Roelofs) and John Wind,(NWC grads of 99 and 96) and daughters Clara Anne (2) and Chloe (7 months)

  16. A lot of the time white birds that are released are pidgeons. When they are born, pigeons are instilled with this natural homing device. So whenever they are released, they fly home, even if it’s 1000’s of miles away. It’s very appropriate that Noah has flown to his first home with God.

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