September 3rd
Our wireless access doesn’t work on the second floor right now, so I am down on one typing this while Jason and Noah hang out upstairs. Due to the holiday weekend, we won’t have any results from any tests for a while. I’m having a tough time since he coughed out his breathing tube. I don’t want to even leave the room to use the bathroom. I feel sick to my stomach being at home even though I need to do that to shower and spend time with Em, but being away from Noah’s room is really hard for me now. The docs all changed on the first which is tough b/c our last one was a realist but also was optimistic.

Because he coughed out his breathing tube again, he is sedated a bit more, which can be good…he can sleep more, so that’s good, but there’s a fine line on sedation because I still want him to be able to work his muscles. We do PT with him every day so that he doesn’t atrophy.

I’m not happy with Adam and Eve AT ALL, especially Eve. I wonder what mothering would have looked like if she hadn’t messed things up! It’s the hardest thing to be a parent and not be able to “fix” things! Noah continues to melt my heart minute by minute. I want to squeeze him and love him and snuggle with him. I never knew you could love your second kid as much as your first…I didn’t know I had that kind of love in my heart.

Okay, so sobbing in a public place isn’t pretty, so I’m headed back up to his room. Just wanted you all to know he’s stable, he’s cuter than ever, he’s gaining weight, and he’s being blessed by all your prayers! Thanks for everything!



12 Responses

  1. Ade,
    Tell half empty that Noah has a red haired aunt that loves to bring out the New Yorker in her. Then bust out in a song like Respect just for the sheer satisfaction of being a freak. I have found that even when it is socially unexceptable it is fabulous to take those freak out moments when they arise. I mean lets be honest we could pray all day long but once in awhile you just need to scream. Screaming at the top of your lungs in your car works great. If need be it even in the parking lot. The security guard Pat might
    A. Scream with you
    B. Admit you.
    Either way it will be a sucessful day because the question will be answered.
    (insider) Anyway all… well most…joking aside, keep your head up! I know this has been one of the hardest roads of your life. You can see the peace of Christ all over Noah. Ok so 90% Christ 10% sedatives but you know what I mean 🙂 You are and have always been one of the strongest people I know. When I was there your strength and ability to connect with people blew my mind. You amaze me. My prayer is that God will continue to meet Jason and your needs emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically. Can we just give a shout out to ORU’s physical education program right now that helped me so much. Much love Ade!

  2. Hi Sweethearts – Thank you for the candid look into your peaks and valleys, Adrienne. I so appreciate your candor when telling your Noah story. You are Beloved!
    It seems like it is in someway, a good thing that Noah now has the breath-strength to blow out his tube. Is that right, or am I missing something? Before was his breathing strong enough to blow the thing out and is this new problem a result of his gaining strength?
    I’m with you on the half-empty-glass types. Surrounding ourselves with God-watchers is a must. Many of us continue to watch and wait. “Be still and know…” I love you all – care

    P.S. Special Love to my Dear Friend, Kaija. I need you back in the Watertown Okay Corrall! But your Noah priority is on the money. Stay put until All is Well.

  3. Know that we are standing with you and believing for Noah’s health to be completely restored! Remember the Lord sees each tear that falls and He hears you when you call. Sending our love and prayers!
    Jack, Noreen
    and Amanda O’Hara

  4. Wish I could be there to give you a HUGE hug and offer a shoulder to cry on. Settle for a long distance e-hug?? 🙂 Thinking of you, Jason, Em and Noah ALWAYS and I believe in my heart he’ll be alright. I know that God is listening to all of our prayers and He also wants Noah to be well. My heart is with you. Clara

  5. Ade thanks for your comments, i love hearing from your heart. I am continuing to pray for Noah everyday, all day. Love you guys.

  6. Ade, its amazing how we can love our children soo much. yes its true, for the 3rd and 4th babe as well, God has given the same capacity of love!!! Many prayers!! Cindy

  7. Ade,
    Thinking of you today. Keep going with what you are feeling….you are an amazing mama with such a huge heart. These kids do have a way of wiggling into each tiny crevice in our hearts. Keep loving big! We are praying for all of you. Keep holding onto hope…He will never let go. Hugs to all,Laura

  8. I don’t know you personally but my mom, Pat Bertsch told me about your situation and I have followed your blog. He is so beautiful. I have a feeling deep inside that he is going to get better and I just wanted to share that with you. I can’t imagine what you are going thru. God is there with you and it is so wonderful to see you leaning on him. I love to see his pics and see him grow. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us thru this. You have prayers coming from Winona, MN.
    Kerry Pye

  9. Jason, Ade, Kaija,
    I believe the Lord says to you, “Surely your faith has been tempered in the flames of adversity and you have NOT been found wanting.” We’re not going to quit either. You are loved.P Jim

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