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Right Before You Choke and Die

photo credit: Ryan McGuire, pixabay

photo credit: Ryan McGuire, pixabay

(*For an entrepreneurs course I’m taking at a local college, the prof assigned us the task of keeping a journal, old-school style…like made out of paper, where we write with pens or pencils or crayons or whatever. The following is from my entry this morning.)

My journal for the entrepreneurial class I'm taking. Cover artwork by: yours, truly. Though, technique taught to me by the lovely and talented Jennifer Stone, Watertown, SD.

My journal for the entrepreneurial class I’m taking. Cover artwork by: yours, truly. Though, technique taught to me by the lovely and talented Jennifer Stone, Watertown, SD.

Handwritten journal like in the times of Laura Ingalls...

Handwritten journal like in the times of Laura Ingalls…

I pasted some of my alcohol paint work into my journal for inspiration.

I pasted some of my alcohol paint work into my journal for inspiration.

///

10/6/15

I know I’ve bitten off more than I can chew right now…this usually leads to a few scenarios:

  1. A huge mouthful of food, cheeks large, smacking sounds that make others uncomfortable, looking like you’ve never heard of a thing called manners.
  2. A nauseous feeling, like where you may gag if you think about it too much.
  3. The decision to press on and chew and chew and chew and then swallow the ridiculous amount of food, and then wash it down with water.
  4. Hope you don’t choke on it.
  5. Choke on it.
  6. Lift a napkin from your lap and subtly spit the food wad out and set aside.
  7. See #5 and require an intervention.
  8. See #6 and assess what should be on your plate, what bites need to be cut into smaller pieces, remember just because you hit the buffet or it was even served up to you, it’s more than you can eat, and it doesn’t mean you have to clean your plate.
photo credit: Ulrike Mai, pixabay

photo credit: Ulrike Mai, pixabay

photo credit: user unserekleinemaus , pixabay

photo credit: user unserekleinemaus , pixabay

So, everything I am learning here is so great…like food on a *ahem, good buffet. What I’m learning from: Good Life Project and the passionate Jonathan Fields, the story prodigy Micah J. Murray and the Clumsy Bloggers Workshop, the actual practice of writing for 31 days with the challenge group, the Bevy re-launch, focus groups, interviews, and market research my friends and I are collaborating on…it’s all so great. But, it’s a lot to process. I feel like I need two weeks away to soak it all in. Add to that:

  • woman
  • wife
  • mom
  • daughter
  • sister
  • friend
  • and whatever else hats…

…and something has to give.

///

My prof just showed up “at my office” (coffee shop) to read my journal and talk about all these things and more. I’ll be back in a bit…

///

Ok. That. Was. Awesome.

Yes, it’s a lot. No, it’s not all meant to be “consumed” at once. She read my journal and chuckled here and there…She encouraged me that it’s a positive thing it’s all interconnected, but to be mindful if there is something that has to give, and only I could discover it.

As an “adult learner” taking her course, but with the open buffet you just read above, I wanted her to know I respect her and appreciate of the content of the course, one she teaches to female entrepreneurs in western Uganda through her NGO called, “Two Sides to the Same Coin,” one, and two, how my absences and inability to get my shit together for an “elevator pitch” or 1/2 the other assignments weren’t that I wasn’t thankful for every bit of the course and her time.

And then she said smart stuff to me. She said as an “adult learner” there’s beauty in knowing from life experience what’s applicable and what information is necessary and useful now. Then she shared her desire is not to have the course be another bite full, so if it’s part of what I need to spit out, she would understand…And that she was simply happy to have me in the class. I was welcome. 

///

I feel like a few things just happened. Nothing actually came off my plate, but the expectations I had set to be a perfectionist or attain a certain outcome, have been lifted. Almost like it’s a several course meal, but not all on the table at once, and when I’m ready for the next course, it will come. Or like I went to the bathroom and burped and farted frat boy style. 

Whatever it was, I sure feel better.

Ever feel like that?

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