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Sex Ed: 101

ME: “Sweetheart, do you have five minutes?”

Him: “I always have five minutes for you.”

My husband and I both work from home. During the week, he and I tag team the morning routine of kids, food, and hygiene moderation. Then, he usually drives them to school, a 30 minute round trip event, while I get in a quick workout. (Bonus: If I’m the one driving the kids to school, I love the 5 minutes on our local classical channel where the soothing voice of Garrison Keillor tells us word-nerdy things on The Writer’s Almanac.)

Anyway, either way, after we’re both back home before 8 o’clock even rolls around, Jason makes himself a little breakfast while I finish my squats and then we have a 5-minute stand up meeting to start the day. This little chunk of time is really helpful to simply touch base. Have you ever gone through a day and realized you and your spouse were more like ships passing in the night? Yeah, marriage takes intention, and 5 minutes doesn’t seem like much, but connecting for five minutes can make a tremendous difference, even if it’s just communicating details of the day!

So, on this particular morning, Jason had taken the kids to school, and then had to be home right away for a few back-to-back calls. We were going to push our scrum meeting later, which worked for both our schedules.

My family is also a team when it comes to house chores, if you will. Do I think I can do all the chores better? I used to. And I do still fold a fitted sheet like a boss, but life is short and some things are more important than perfection, so I’m cool that the sheet just gets folded and put on the shelf. I totally do KNOW I can clean a toilet better than most humans, just ask a few thousand former college students who attended UNWSP between 1996-2001, so that job I gladly keep for myself, but as far as the rest goes? I’m grateful for the full-court press my husband and my kids, ahem, willingly, pitch in, because I got over my pride and just asked for help.

All this to say, I’ve been doing more freelance writing lately and so some things around the ol’ Airbnb have taken a back seat and have piled up. Let’s head back to the original conversation at the top of this post…

Here’s the scene: I’m in the bedroom with two huge loads of clean laundry that need to be folded. Jason’s in the living room at his desk, just wrapping up a call. I wait for the cue the conversation has ended…

Me: Sweetheart, do you have 5 minutes?

Sweetheart: I always have 5 minutes for you. (When Jason stands up from a chair he’s been sitting at a while, he always stretches with his arms raised high and talks through the stretchy voice…)

Me: No, you don’t, and that’s okay, but could you come help me for 5 minutes?

Sweetheart, (upon entering bedroom takes in the scene): Do you want me to make love to you for 5 minutes or do you want me to help you fold laundry for 5 minutes?

Me: Yes! YES! I totally want you to make love to me by helping me fold this laundry for 5 minutes…

Sweetheart: Well played.

So what is the lesson here as it relates to Sex Ed: 101 and having a healthy marriage? It’s important we teach our kids that sex is so much more than just one physical act, just as marriage is so much more than a wedding day. Sex ends in the bedroom, so to speak, but starts in the kitchen, at the 5-minute meeting, tag-teaming life, when we help one another with things we can easily do ourselves. It begins with intention, communication, taking each other seriously and also not taking each other, or ourselves, too seriously.

And sometimes, in order for it to end in the bedroom, the bed must first be cleared off because it’s full of laundry. So, parents, teach your kids, both sexes, how to do the freaking laundry in the first place. Their spouse will love them for it one day!

Photo credit: Arden Prucha Photography

Photo credit: Arden Prucha Photography (In La Jolla at my dear friend’s wedding I had the honor of officiating!)

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